Occupation: Girl on tumblr

[Image description: Look, I know I keep posting this stuff, but I really feel like this movie is either going to be super awesome or… an entertaining failure, or something. This is the guy who brought us Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Come on. It’ll be pretty to look at. Anyway. If you “like” the Twixt page on Facebook, they let you vote on posters. Here are all four, with quick descriptions:

1) Sickly greenish background; tiny “FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA PRESENTS” at the top; “TWIXT” at the bottom in the leafy red font, with Val Kilmer’s and Bruce Dern’s names above and Elle Fanning’s and Ben Chaplin’s below. Bloody handprints on the lower left and right edges. A shadowy Elle Fanning with braided blonde hair (she’s a Fanning; of course it’s blonde), blood running down her face and neck, pauses with a worried expression: “Did I leave the gas on? NO! I’M A FUCKING GHOST!”

2) Same title treatment, except now the actors’ names are in white (title still in red over the black bottom third of the poster). Elle Fanning’s mouth, nose, and red under-eye makeup are visible; her finger is drawing the letter V (her character’s name) on a fogged window. This is actually my favorite, due to saturated colors that are both warm and spooky, and the simplicity of the image.

3) Same title treatment, red title and white actor names. Elle Fanning is wearing a loose white dress or blouse with a pattern of bloody handprints and red leaves that are similar to the Photoshop brushes used in the title font. Her hair is braided and blood is running down her face and neck and she is PISSED OFF because SHE’S the one in all the posters and SHE’S the only one who’s been in a big-budget movie lately and yet HER NAME IS STILL BELOW THE TITLE.

4) DIFFERENT TITLE TREATMENT NOW, THROWIN’ ME FOR A LOOP. This one’s all sepia-tone with the actors’ names across the top and the title still at the bottom, all in a sepia-compatible beige font, garnished with bloody handprints. Upper left: half of the reverse side of a clock, so that all the numbers are backwards; the minute hand is on 10. There are more small bloody handprints on it, so we’ve met our quota. In the middle, Elle Fanning is in the chemise/corset costume from the movie still, and yes, that is a random braid across her forehead. Upper right: a small disembodied Kilmer head with an expression of terror: “FUCK! We’re in an episode of The Twilight Zone!”]
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Fact: I had to enable javascript to vote, and the site I had to allow was franciscoppolawinery.com.

(via TIFF 2011 First Look: Pics and Posters from Francis Ford Coppola’s ‘Twixt’ | RopeofSilicon.com)

[Image description: Movie poster, a few bits of red on a plain white background. Upper left, a smudge of blood. Across the top: a leafy motif that immediately made me wonder if they were using Designfruit brushes. Right side: a bloody handprint, then a second handprint in the lower right corner. Middle, tiny red font: “FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA presents.” Large, plain red font, with leafy/ferny embellishments added: “TWIXT.”]

You know, Coppola’s the better filmmaker and Ben Chaplin’s the better-looking Poe, but I gotta give it to The Raven’s poster on this one. It’s interesting how the both posters have the similar “big white background, classy gore” motif going on, though.

[Image description: A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan art poster. Black background. A large, glowering white unicorn with a green and blue mane (I am told this is Princess Celestia?) is drawn in a shadowed gray charcoal style (horn and tiara included). I can’t tell what’s going on at the collar but I have a horrible feeling it’s a peacoat. Meanwhile, a small purple unicorn with—well, I am told she has “a light violet body and an dark indigo mane and tail with pink and purple streaks styled with bangs”—is clinging poutily to Princess Crankyface. Upper left corner, small gray font: “WHEN YOU CAN LIVE FOREVER WHAT DO YOU LIVE FOR?” Bottom right, in the Twilight movie font: ‘twilight sparkle.”]

I was about to say, “I am so disturbed right now,” but we all know that Twilight and My Little Pony go together like peanut butter and dazzle.

ETA: I have found the artist!

(via Super Punch: Fairy tale posters)

[Image description: A poster with a stylized, paper cut-out look. A forest of brownish-green birch trees (only trunks shown) and their diagonal shadows on a greenish-brown background. Partially obscured by a tree, a red hooded cloak with a slight orange texture. At the far left—black claws curled around one of the trees, as if something is hiding behind it. White text at the bottom left: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD. Smaller font: WILHELM AND JACOB GRIMM | SERIES 15.]

(via The Raven’s First Poster Is Written In Blood - CinemaBlend.com)

[Image description: A surprisingly cool poster for the John Cusack IS Edgar Allan Poe (INTENNNNSE) movie The Raven. White background. Top of the poster, a raven swooping in over a dark splash of blood, which itself transitions into a tiny flock of ravens. Middle left, another tiny flock of blood ravens transitioning into a scratchy blood-black murder font: “THE RAVEN.” Tiny normal type, middle right: “JOHN CUSACK IS EDGAR ALLAN POE.” (Dude, I thought I was joking about that.) Bottom right, a glass ink bottle turned over, blackish-red blood/ink spilling out; a small pool of blood/ink; and a black quill feather.]

(via Lionsgate Debuts the Official ‘Hunger Games’ Poster | RopeofSilicon.com)

[Image description: Hunger Games movie poster. Nondescript dark background; gold type at the top: “MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR.” Most of the image is taken up with the Mockingjay symbol—Katniss’s gold pin, shaped like a circle with a bird inside, wings spread, holding an arrow. Here, the arrow is made of fire, and the circle is ringed with fire, which itself refers to the second book, Catching Fire, and Katniss and Peeta’s flaming District 12 parade costumes. At the bottom, gold type: “THE HUNGER GAMES,” then “2012.”]

(via SDCC: The New Immortals Comic-Con Poster - ComingSoon.net)

[Image description: Hm, having a hard time describing this one. Movie poster; the actors’ names listed across the top in white: Henry Cavill, Stephen Dorff, Luke Evans, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Freida Pinto, Mickey Rourke. (It is noted at the bottom that the director is Tarsem Singh (The Cell, The Fall, Snow White with Raptors), so the overall aesthetic is sort of 300 meets Clash of the Titans.) The bottom half of the poster is Henry Cavill going all GRR-ARRGH with a sword and molded (Greek?) armor. What I’m having trouble with is describing the background, which is—a swirling tunnel made of armored gods and goddesses and presumably miscellaneous people? You can see Freida Pinto in a red dress (it kind of looks like a modern evening gown, actually) and some of the other actors in the front. The tunnel of warriors and shields and spears and creative helmets (dude, there’s like one that’s made of swords) extends far into the distance, because why not.] In the middle, in black type: “FROM THE PRODUCERS OF 300” (I told you) “IMMORTALS” (next line, the release date:) “11/11/11.”]

[Side note: Henry Cavill is your new Superman; Luke Evans is playing Bard the Bowman in The Hobbit; and Kellan Lutz, playing Poseidon here, is everyone’s favorite dudebro sparklepire.]

@mtgilchrist: every time kellan lutz says poseidon is “the god of wetness,” it’s creepier than the last. #sdcc

[Image description: On the left, the Dark Knight Rises poster as described here—short version, a bat-shaped hole in the sky formed by buildings that have been partially destroyed. On the right, a line drawing of a leaping white unicorn—horn pointed up right, tail pointed down left—that has the exact same outline as the bat shape.]

@marcusgilmer: YOU CANNOT UNSEE THIS. RT @duntronic: For @marcusgilmer - http://t.co/QrwDcO4. Surefire hit of 2012.

(via Nerd Watch: ‘The Dark Knight’ Trilogy Poster is Pretty Badass | Movie News | Movies.com)

[Image description: the first third of the image is the first third of the Batman Begins poster, a metal bat wing on a brown background. The second third is from the Dark Knight poster, orange-red explosion wreckage forming the shape of a flaming bat body in the side of a blue-toned building. The last third is from the Dark Knight Rises poster I described here, wing-shaped hole in building debris, black and gray tones. At the top are the words “Begins. Falls. Rises.” The three poster sections line up perfectly.]

(via The Dark Knight Rises teaser poster: A dash of Inception, a hint of bureaucratic oversight | Film | Newswire | The A.V. Club)

It also offers plenty of room for inkblot-like interpretation: Is the bat-shaped clearing at the apex—the only clear sky in sight—a symbol of hope, offering a way out of this grim devastation? Or does it signify that this is all actually Batman’s fault, sort of like how the guy destroyed an entire elevated train system and nearly all of its surrounding real estate just to stop one dude in Batman Begins, never giving a second thought for the months (if not years) its reconstruction might drag on, thereby tying up thousands of commuters who have the sort of real jobs and deadlines and family commitments that a self-absorbed billionaire playboy superhero obviously doesn’t understand? And what, now they have to contend with their skyscrapers raining down boulders from the sky? And whose job was it to reinforce the concrete at the top of those skyscrapers, and maybe ensure against possible boulder-raining contingencies, anyway? Seems like the real supervillain here is a lack of forethought. Anyway, this movie comes out a year from now.

[Image description: A black and steel grey-toned lmovie poster with no text but “SUMMER 2012” (and the little credity bits that no one ever reads) at the bottom. Looking up from the ground straight up into the sky, we see a Batman logo-shaped hole in crumbling skyscrapers, as if we are standing in a bat-shaped clearing. Rocks fall everyone dies?]