Occupation: Girl on tumblr

We are also looking for a tambourine player

@cleolinda: ONE LAST TIME: Prometheus and The Avengers in Fifteen Minutes. http://m15m.livejournal.com/23444.html

@cleolinda: Have you heard my new band, Prometheus and the Avengers? Our first single is “Treat Yo’ Self (To Some Science) (Smash Remix).”

@cleolinda: Unfortunately, our lead singer is in the hospital with some liver problems and our drummer has a terrible hulkover. Auditions start at 3 pm.

cundtcake said: Your Prometheus recap was the stuff that dreams and rainbowshits are made of. *handchins* What’s the hardest recap you’ve ever done, besides Avengers?

Heh, thanks. (It is cracking me up that y’all actually want to know stuff about this.) In terms of the ones I posted online, I seem to remember having a minor meltdown over one of the Twilight ones and taking way, way longer than usual to finish it—maybe New Moon? Because I seem to remember Eclipse being more fun with the “Viking saga” stuff, and Breaking Dawn was just so utterly wackadoo that I had no problem with it. New Moon was still nothing compared to the Avengers one.

In terms of the ten I did for the published book back in 2005, they… they were pretty much all like the Avengers one. It was just a circus of meltdowns—although, by “meltdown,” I mean wailing “I can’t dooooo this omg I CAN’T DOOOOO THIS HOW AM I GOING TO DOOOOO THIS?!?!” while drinking a lot of Mountain Dew and begging for deadline extensions. (It took me about a year to write the book.) My idea of a meltdown is pretty fluffy. I think Titanic ended up being the hardest, probably because it was so damn long, but without the deep and abiding fangirl love I had for the Lord of the Rings trilogy at the end of the book. I ran that movie in the background on a continuous loop for three days (and I was never too fond of it in the first place). I am pretty sure I saw it at least 42 times. But there are not (42 x 3.5) hours in three days! you say. No, I did, because I saw it so many times that time and space ceased to have meaning. At one point, I posted a LJ entry that was nothing but a paragraph of “ALL JACK AND NO ROSE MAKES ROSE A BAD JACK,” which I thought was hilarious, but my agent thought people might think I had genuinely lost my mind and made me take it down.

• Question: Do you still post M15M? Are they on your LiveJournal? - trvllngjwllr
• Answer:

  I do, once or twice a year for the last few years—regularly irregular, if that makes any sense. They’re still on the M15M Livejournal. The last three were Avengers and Prometheus in the last few weeks, and Breaking Dawn the winter before that.

• Question: I have two things to say. First thing: Will you do a m15m of The Dark Knight Rises? And I have to say, I LOVED your Prometheus summary. Some of the quotes from that are solid gold. - cloakedman1
• Answer:

  Thank you!

  I really don’t know. I can’t ever know until I see the movie, sit down, and try. Sometimes I’m not able to work up anything for movies I really actually want to do. When I sat down and decided to do The Avengers or die trying, it took me six weeks, as opposed to Prometheus, which was exactly the kind of thing that works for this, and took four days. I just never have any way of knowing in advance.

• Question: Absolutely LOVED Avengers in 15 minutes. Any thoughts on this new Tom Hiddleston craze? It seems to be taking over tumblr. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  Thank you!

  The intensity is weird? And yet kind of just The Way Fandom Works? Like, Tom Hardy seems nice enough, but I don’t get the craze for him, either. I didn’t see Thor until I was working on the Avengers thing, so I ~get~ the Tom Hiddleston thing (which I already knew was huge) now, or at least why he’s become one of those actors that people are wild over if they’re going to be wild over someone anyway, but… I don’t know?

  I think I personally try to keep my interests spread out over different fandoms and people, because I don’t want to become identified with fangirling a single, specific actor. (“That Twilight blogger” was unfortunate enough.) Like, I would rather be known as a stan for Pallas cats; Pallas cats don’t care. I get kind of queasy about everyone going around being like “You liiiii~iiiiike him,” for any value of him, though.

• Question: Dear Cleolinda, Goddess of teh Interwebs: Imma make you gif sets for every scrap of dialogue from the "Avengers" m15m, and tag them with your name, and send them straight to you to use or delete as you wish, because omg after that amazingness I want to marry that post and have its babies. - killerlashes
• Answer:

  Why, thank you!

  For those of you just joining us, I put up Avengers in Fifteen Minutes on Monday, and Prometheus in Fifteen Minutes a couple of weeks before that. I really don’t do many of these a year, but I felt like both these two turned out pretty well. Which is probably why I don’t do them more often, because I want them all to be at the Best Effort level. I wrote down a few ideas for Snow White and the Huntsman, but honestly, there’s a SWATH joke in the Avengers one that probably suffices. Same deal with Spider-Man, which I saw yesterday, although I’ll write down what I can think of and see what happens. There’s one for the original Spider-Man in the book I did a few years ago, but it’s hard to find, and I haven’t worked out North American or e-book distribution yet.

Stuttgart State Opera, Cleveland, Germany

[Loki pimps on into Der Fancypantsenpartyein, which is terrible fake German and yet more than anyone speaks in this scene.]

LOOK AT THIS GQ MOTHERTRICKSTER
HIS SCARF IS FLY AND SO ARE HIS DADDY ISSUES
DAMN

(via m15m: The Avengers in Fifteen Minutes)

m15m: Prometheus in Fifteen Minutes

I can’t think of anything to quote from this that 1) isn’t a spoiler and 2) makes sense out of context. I’m afraid to use any of the pictures, even (there are pictures).

m15m: Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes

Casa de Swan

EDWARD: Before I go out to my Vampire Bachelor Party, Bella… there’s something I have to tell you. About myself.

BELLA: Are you… gay?

EDWARD: Subsequent events will prove that this is not the case, no.

BELLA: Are you not a virgin?

BOTH OF THEM: LOL

BELLA: No, seriously, what, then?

EDWARD: Well… back in the ’30s… I had a rebellious phase where, orphaned by my real parents, I stalked the mean streets of a dark city, to vam and to pire those who would make the innocent their victims, and I brooded over it broodsomely 24/7.

BELLA: So… basically, you were Batman. Vampire Batman.

EDWARD: With a jaunty cap, yes.

EMMETT [outside]: HEY BRO YOU GONNA PARTY OR WHAT?

BELLA: So are there, like, Victorian strippers in the woods or something?

EDWARD: Nah, just a few mountain lions. Party platter of bear and elk.



A Scene That Must Have Happened

EMMETT: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

JASPER: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!