Mike Ryan: 'Dark Shadows': Will Johnny Depp's Newest Put You To Sleep? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions)
Q: On a boredom scale, what movie were you reminded on while watching Dark Shadows?
A: On a pure boredom scale, Dark Shadows is reminiscent of Ordinary People. To be fair to Ordinary People, my mother made me watch the movie when I was six years old. There is still a little part of me trapped forever in that theater watching Ordinary People, just like there will always be a part of me trapped forever watching Dark Shadows.
Q: If you’re going to be blurbed in this weekend’s commercials for Dark Shadows, what quote do you think will be used?
A: “Dark Shadows is reminiscent of the Academy Award-winning movie, Ordinary People!” Mike Ryan, The Huffington Post
Q: Does Barnabas seek revenge against Angelique? Does he use his vampire powers to try to destroy her?
A: Barnabas uses his business knowledge in an attempt to destroy her stake in the fishing industry. Also: I’m serious. This is what Dark Shadows is about. I’m reading that sentence over and over, thinking, Is that right? That can’t be right.
I was willing to love you, Dark Shadows. Why did it have to be this way?