@cleolinda: Is it weird that I want to write Sleepy Hollow iPhone meme fic? It’s weird, isn’t it?

@LJmysticowl: It sounds like an entirely logical and productive way to spend time, to me.

Text transcript below; full set of pictures over at my journal.



8:23 PM

going to the store, u need anything?

Why do you spell “you” this way?

its shorthand, it saves time, DO U NEED ANYTHING

I would appreciate laundry soap and tea, although I know the latter is expensive.

its not expensive, u can have as much as u want

what kind?


I was accustomed to Bohea. You may find a Dutch import to be less dear than British.

ITS NOT EXPENSIVE, U CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT

CRANE ARE U THERE


I would like a superior Congou, some Souchong, and a good Hyson.

ok brb

What does that mean? Is that code?

its not code, everyone understands it but u

That seems like extremely ineffective cryptography.

I WILL GET U A DECODER RING WHILE IM OUT



9:07 PM

im here but i don’t see congou or hyson, wtf r they

CRANE ARE U THERE

CRANE?


I am uncertain of yo ur question, or if it is, in fact, a question, but Congou is a black tea from China, more properly a Kanghu from Chiuchow; Hyson is a green tea. General Washington was quite fond of it, in fact.

oh ok green tea, they have that. I will get u english breakfast bc obvsly.

lapsang souchong ok?


I have no idea what yo u are endeavouring to say, Lieutenant.

IS IT OKAY

I DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS OKAY BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT “OKAY” SIGNIFIES

"OKAY" SIGNIFIES APPROVAL, ADEQUACY, CONFIRMATION AND/OR ASSENT. IT IS A VERB, NOUN AND INTERJECTION AND YOU BEST LEARN IT NOW.

THERE IS NO NEED TO DELIVER YOUR TEXT IN SUCH A TONE. I TRY MY BEST TO UNDERSTAND A WORLD IN WHICH I DID NOT ASK TO AWAKEN, WHERE I SEE NOT A SINGLE FAMILIAR FACE NOR HEAR A SYMPATHETIC VOICE. EVERYONE I ENCOUNTER BELIEVES ME TO BE MAD, AND, INDEED, SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT I AM FIGHTING FOR MY OWN SANITY. ALL I DESIRE, AT THIS MOMENT, SOMEWHERE IN TIME, IS TEA. YOU MAY CHOOSE IT YOURSELF IF YOU FIND ME TOO IGNORANT.

DON’T U SHOUT AT ME EITHER, I HAD A HELLACIOUS DAMN DAY AS U KNOW BC **U WERE THERE** MY OWN SISTER PULLED A F’ING GUN ON ME AND U KNOW WHAT LETS NOT EVEN ADDRESS THE SITUATION RE THE ALTAR OF FIRE GOLLUMS, I CANT EVEN WITH THAT

AND THEN JENNY TOOK ME ON A NICE LITTLE GUILT TRIP ON THE USS NEVER LETTING IT GO, AND **NOW IT LOOKS LIKE THE EFFIN DEMON MOLOCH IS AFTER MY ASS, SO HELP ME JESUS CRANE IM NOT IN THE MOOD TO TAKE SHIT FROM U TOO. NOW DO U UNDERSTAND ME?


Okay.

*WHAT KIND OF TEA DO U WANT*

Lieutenant, we just discussed this at great and badly-spelled length.

u can have sass or u can have tea, Crane, WHICH IMPORTER DO U WANT, IS THAT A QUESTION U UNDERSTAND?

Anything that is convenient to you, Miss Mills.

But not the East India Company.

WE GOT LIPTON BIGELOW TWININGS STASH TAZO AND CELESTIAL SEASONINGS

WHAT DO U WANT


My God, Twinings still exists?

i will get u that then



9:23 PM

Lieutenant… I must ask yo u to forgive me. I was unkind and uncouth to speak to yo u so.

Yo urs has been a very sympathetic voice. It is untrue to say otherwise. You have become, in truth, a leader, and, I hope, a friend.

Okay.



9:31 PM

almost done. anything else?

Would it be too much trouble to acquire more of those “doughnut holes,” as yo u rather paradoxically call them?

u can have the entire donut, Crane. i will get u a dozen.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

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