m15m: Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes

Casa de Swan

EDWARD: Before I go out to my Vampire Bachelor Party, Bella… there’s something I have to tell you. About myself.

BELLA: Are you… gay?

EDWARD: Subsequent events will prove that this is not the case, no.

BELLA: Are you not a virgin?

BOTH OF THEM: LOL

BELLA: No, seriously, what, then?

EDWARD: Well… back in the ’30s… I had a rebellious phase where, orphaned by my real parents, I stalked the mean streets of a dark city, to vam and to pire those who would make the innocent their victims, and I brooded over it broodsomely 24/7.

BELLA: So… basically, you were Batman. Vampire Batman.

EDWARD: With a jaunty cap, yes.

EMMETT [outside]: HEY BRO YOU GONNA PARTY OR WHAT?

BELLA: So are there, like, Victorian strippers in the woods or something?

EDWARD: Nah, just a few mountain lions. Party platter of bear and elk.



A Scene That Must Have Happened

EMMETT: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

JASPER: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  1. eziohotpantsauditore reblogged this from wannabebatman
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  4. wannabebatman reblogged this from cleolinda
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  7. fyrdrakken reblogged this from glimglamoury
  8. beforeweturntostone reblogged this from nitratesdayrates
  9. kenning reblogged this from cleolinda
  10. look-something-shiny reblogged this from cleolinda
  11. viddy-this-horrorshow reblogged this from trivia-goddess and added:
    FUCKING FINALLY! I squee’d so hard when I saw this on my dash. I love love love Cleo.
  12. dtwirler reblogged this from cleolinda
  13. underwaterfraulein reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
  14. lindzconner reblogged this from queenofthedorks
  15. trivia-goddess reblogged this from cleolinda
  16. jadis17 reblogged this from cleolinda
  17. jwdmeow reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Laugh out loud funny, as usual. And her tip jar is here: http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/931077.html. Happy turkeymas!
  18. moyaofthemist reblogged this from justaphotograph
  19. womanofkleenex reblogged this from liquidiousfleshbag and added:
    So, basically, Edward had the same bachelor party T did, where they just sat around in the sticks and ate stuff, except...
  20. kjhark reblogged this from cleolinda
  21. killerzebras reblogged this from callmecayce
  22. bluesbell reblogged this from cleolinda
  23. thedementress reblogged this from cleolinda
  24. redheaded reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    because if its Cleo, its awesome. :)
  25. justaphotograph reblogged this from cleolinda
  26. whatsupbuttercup reblogged this from cleolinda
  27. schoolofstitchcraft reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Instant reblog, THEN I’m going read it. I already know it’s that good.
  28. shanksperian-everlark reblogged this from cleolinda
  29. biichama reblogged this from cleolinda
  30. moriahbard reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Yessss this is so perfect! I love the little touches of Growing Up Cullen and the A Scene That Must Have Happened bits.
  31. watchoutfordinosaurs reblogged this from cleolinda
  32. lolyssah reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    I’M SO EXCITED
  33. miliat reblogged this from cleolinda