m15m: Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes

Casa de Swan

EDWARD: Before I go out to my Vampire Bachelor Party, Bella… there’s something I have to tell you. About myself.

BELLA: Are you… gay?

EDWARD: Subsequent events will prove that this is not the case, no.

BELLA: Are you not a virgin?

BOTH OF THEM: LOL

BELLA: No, seriously, what, then?

EDWARD: Well… back in the ’30s… I had a rebellious phase where, orphaned by my real parents, I stalked the mean streets of a dark city, to vam and to pire those who would make the innocent their victims, and I brooded over it broodsomely 24/7.

BELLA: So… basically, you were Batman. Vampire Batman.

EDWARD: With a jaunty cap, yes.

EMMETT [outside]: HEY BRO YOU GONNA PARTY OR WHAT?

BELLA: So are there, like, Victorian strippers in the woods or something?

EDWARD: Nah, just a few mountain lions. Party platter of bear and elk.



A Scene That Must Have Happened

EMMETT: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

JASPER: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  1. eziohotpantsauditore reblogged this from wannabebatman
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  9. kenning reblogged this from cleolinda
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  11. panda-monium-pls reblogged this from trivia-goddess and added:
    FUCKING FINALLY! I squee’d so hard when I saw this on my dash. I love love love Cleo.
  12. dtwirler reblogged this from cleolinda
  13. underwaterfraulein reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
  14. lindzconner reblogged this from queenofthedorks
  15. trivia-goddess reblogged this from cleolinda
  16. jadis17 reblogged this from cleolinda
  17. jwdmeow reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Laugh out loud funny, as usual. And her tip jar is here: http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/931077.html. Happy turkeymas!
  18. moyaofthemist reblogged this from justaphotograph
  19. kjhark reblogged this from cleolinda
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  21. bluesbell reblogged this from cleolinda
  22. thedementress reblogged this from cleolinda
  23. redheaded reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    because if its Cleo, its awesome. :)
  24. justaphotograph reblogged this from cleolinda
  25. whatsupbuttercup reblogged this from cleolinda
  26. schoolofstitchcraft reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Instant reblog, THEN I’m going read it. I already know it’s that good.
  27. shanksperian-everlark reblogged this from cleolinda
  28. biichama reblogged this from cleolinda
  29. moriahbard reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    Yessss this is so perfect! I love the little touches of Growing Up Cullen and the A Scene That Must Have Happened bits.
  30. watchoutfordinosaurs reblogged this from cleolinda
  31. lolyssah reblogged this from cleolinda and added:
    I’M SO EXCITED
  32. miliat reblogged this from cleolinda